Shiney Advice & Resource Project

Is your partner hurting you?

If you are being assaulted, either physically, mentally or sexually, or are being threatened, by someone you live with, then you are a victim of domestic violence and you do not have to put up with it.

Domestic violence doesn't just affect women, it can affect men too, and the violence normally gets worse over time. And there are other non-physical forms of abuse too, such as verbal abuse or attempts to control or bully you, which can also have damaging effects.

There are many people who remain in violent relationships because they don't acknowledge what is happening to them. It's not easy coming to terms with the fact that your partner is violent toward you, and it's not unusual for the abused partner to minimise, or even justify what is happening to them.

The main thing to understand is that it is not your fault that you are being abused. Nobody deserves to be assaulted, least of all by a partner who is supposed to be part of a caring relationship. People often blame themselves because that is what they are told by the abuser, but that is just their way of justifying what they are doing to you.

You should always remember that being assaulted is not only wrong, it is also illegal.

It is very easy to say that you must find help, but that is exactly what you should do. It might not be easy to talk to someone about what is happening to you, but you must. Either confide in a friend or call one of the support groups listed below to talk to someone who can offer you emotional support and also practical help.

There are refuges where you can go to escape the abuse, and you should consider moving away from the abuser, perhaps moving in with a friend or a family member.

A refuge is a safe house where people who are experiencing domestic abuse can live free from violence. If you have children, you can take them with you. Refuge addresses are confidential.

There are over 400 refuges in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland - you can choose to travel as far away from, or stay as near to your hometown as you wish. Some refuges have space for many women and children, and some refuges are small houses. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural groups and many cater for women with a range of disabilities.

You don't have to involve the police if you don't want to, although you should always remember that you can call them at any time. Whether or not the police use the criminal law against a violent person, you can use the civil law to get protection to allow you to live in safety.

You can find out more from a solicitor, your local Advice services or from a Women's Aid group

Contact details

Wearside Women in Need

Sunderland                         0191 514 1972

Washington                        0191 415 1506

Main Office at The elms        0191 416 3550

Fax                                   0191 416 3888

Pop in at:

Houghton and Hetton Advice Circle

Houghton Library and Learning Centre

Newbottle Street

Houghton le Spring

Young Women                    0191 514 1964

REACH (sexual assault)       0191 565 3725

Victim Support
Support line: 0845 303 0900
A national charity for people affected by crime - offers free and confidential service, irrespective of whether or not a crime has been reported.

Rape Crisis Federation Wales and England
Unit 7 Provident Works, Newdigate Street, Nottingham, NG7 4FD
Tel: 0115 900 3560
Textphone: 0115 900 3563
A referral service for women who are seeking advice and/or support around the issues of rape and sexual abuse/assault.

Refuge
2-8 Maltravers Street, London, WC2R 3EE
24-hour national domestic violence freephone helpline, 0808 2000 247, run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge
National domestic violence charity offering emergency accommodation and support for women and children experiencing domestic violence.

Women's Aid Federation of England
PO Box 391, Bristol, BS99 7WS
24-hour national domestic violence freephone helpline, 0808 2000 247, run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge
A national charity working to end domestic violence against women and children. They can offer support, advice and information on all aspects of domestic violence.

Welsh Women's Aid
38-48 Crwys Road, Cardiff CF24 4NN
Helpline: 029 20390874
If you live in Wales and you are experiencing domestic violence you can contact Welsh Women's Aid.

Irish Women's Aid
Everton House, 47 Old Cabra Road, Dublin 7
Helpline: + 353 1 868 4721
If you live in Ireland and you are experiencing domestic violence you can call Irish Women's Aid.

Scottish Women's Aid
Helpline: 0131 475 2372
If you live in Scotland and you are experiencing domestic violence you can call Scottish Women's Aid.

Northern Ireland Women's Aid
129 University Street, Belfast, BT7 1HP
Helpline: (028) 90 331818
Help and support for women and children suffering from domestic violence in Northern Ireland.

Rights of Women
52-54 Featherstone St, London, EC1Y 8RT
Helpline: 020 7251 6577
Rights of Women works to attain justice and equality by informing, educating and empowering women on their legal rights.

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard
Tel: 020 7837 7324
24 hour information, support and referral service for lesbians and gay men from all backgrounds.

Broken Rainbow
c/o HGLC 40 Borough High Street, London SE1 1BS
Helpline: 07812 644 914
A 24 hour helpline service for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people who are experiencing domestic violence. If possible please call during office hours.

ManKind
Helpline: 0870 794 4124
ManKind helps and advises male victims of domestic violence.

The Sunflower Centre
Tel: 01604 233684
The Sunflower Centre is a multi-agency domestic abuse centre based in Northampton providing a comprehensive range of support advice and services for male and female victims.

Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline
Freephone helpline: 0800 027 1234
They offer information and support on all issues surrounding Domestic Abuse. This number can also be accessed by text phone from 10.00am-2.00pm, and 10.00pm-midnight daily.

FamilyLine Surrey
PO box 335
Dorking
RH4 2YJ
Freephone: 0808 800 5678
Confidential helpline advice for anyone with family concerns or worries.

Mankind UK
P.O.Box 124
Newhaven
East Sussex
BN9 9TQ
Helpline: 01273 510447
A support service for men who have been sexually abused, sexually assaulted and/or raped.

Samaritans
Helpline: 08457 90 90 90
24-hour confidential emotional support for anyone in a crisis.

Action on Elder Abuse
Astral House, 1268 London Road, London, SW16 4ER
Tel: 020 8765 7000
This organisation aims to prevent abuse in old age by raising awareness, providing education and promoting research.

The Tulip Project
Tel: 0151 637 6363
They support parents who have experienced violence at the hands of their children.

If you are a man suffering from domestic abuse and require a safe place to stay, please ring; 01643 863352 and we will arrange for a referral to a refuge in either the South-West, West Midlands or the North-West

ShARP's Funders & Supporters

Northern Rock Foundation, Coalfield Regeneration Trust, Strategic Initiative Budget, Sure Start, Sunderland Teaching PCT, Lloyds TSB